Till our eyes meet again :)

Oh, my Jay oppa has already left Singapore for Manila, Philippines. I had intended to go to the airport to see him & his lovely AOM crew before they set off but decided not to go because the stalkers(ok joking!!) aka Jwalkerz said they couldn't find him anywhere. And i think it's pretty harsh and unfair for him and his crew because ppl keep stalking them, especially him! Feel sorry for him but can't help in any way :( I read someone's tweet and she's so right. Jay is always stalked or i may say hunted 24/7 whenever he goes, and he sure doesn't feel nice inside but he can't do anything about it. He doesn't has his own freedom and space. Pretty sad about this stalking thing although it has already been this way since long time ago. Trust me, i really want him to be well and i seriously hope nobody stalks him again but chances of this happening are SLIM... Sigh. He doesn't seem to be happy at all when he's out and about in public during his own time :( He seriously needs some breathing space!! :(

My life is bland now because it's difficult to know what the dude's doing when he's flying around unless he updates us himself. Like he said, he'll come back to meet us again in the future, although idk how long the wait will be. I'm looking forward to meeting him again and i'm sure it'll be a brand new chapter in our lives then :)

Anyway, have been recollecting crazy memories of the past few days cox it's just so unforgettable. Mad long waiting and queueing @Wavehouse, Sentosa in the drizzles, mad laughing and screaming @Jay Park Fan Meets Tour 2010 with other girls, mad twittering anything abt Jay, it's just MAD~ :D if i'm not wrong, i used abt 12 hours of lappy for yesterday, technically counted as today and yesterday because i stopped playing at around 4:30am~ Lappy time were increasing since last Thurs because of Jay's stay in Singapore. Can't help cox i didn't wan2 miss out anything about him! I'm not different from those out-and-about-stalker lol! Awww neck bones have been aching for days because of that too. It feels as if they're going to break apart my head and shoulders '_' sour and intolerable aching but i can't move away from thus stupid lappy.

You know, i think i should start slimming down now, really. Anyone recommend any exercise? I'm thinking of jogging everyday but i hate jogging because it always make me feel sick after the exercise. I've been controlling my dinner though, trying to eat less rice but i'm always hungry around 11pm. That sucks because i always feel guilty for eating again. But if i don't eat and i starve myself, i'd feel inferior and think i wouldn't grow taller anymore. Just LOL at myself for these~~

Alright going FB & TT now~ bumbye~ ^3^ i miss u jay who's already in Manila now! I wan2 breathe the same air as u my dear :[

Before.

24 hours ago i was at the concert screaming, shouting and cheering for JAY & AOM~ I could do anything to go back to yesterday. Awwww... :( i miss them..

Best I Ever Had ♥

Just for us, for real ♥ You and I, we the Jwalkerz ♥
Jay tattoed "Jwalkerz" somewhere near the back of his neck because Jwalkerz got his back :) so sweet right!! That's already proved how much he loves his fans as well as us fans loving him~

I hearts 25-09-2010 to the max!!! It's real, i saw him and he was in front, and i watched him dancing, singing, wiping his sweat, ripping his singlet and his everything!
Never ever felt this way before, i still can't believe i saw him in person just now. It was no longer just some pictures on my lappy and tv screen. It's real, hot and sexy! It's really sweet and touching. :)

I want to share every feeling i have had, because technically it's already 26-09-2010 now :) I don't wan2 let all these feelings slip because i'm afraid i would forget most of it the moment i wake up. Hengbokhae, i feel so bliss now :) I'm super tired, toes are in pain because i stood for a long time and i haven't had any food since 12noon but im going to pen everything down~ Simple yet touching is all i have to say for this fan meeting/ concert~ (^,^)V
I'm afraid this post is going to be looooooooong and frustrating to read so i shall point out the most important ones! :D Peace~

♥ Woke up at 11am and ate, dyed hair, bathed, packed bag and went out~ I kept coughing when i was on the mrt it felt so uncomfortable! I've just recovered from cold, sore throat and 2 ulcers. I'm still having cough though but went out no matter what.
♥ Set off around 1:50pm and reached Sentosa around 2:50pm~ Never been there on my own before so we cabbed into sentosa and dropped off at Beach Station~ It was drizzling so i had to cover my head with newspapers cox we didn't have unbrella. Scolded my bro cox he later found an umbrella in his bag!
♥ Saw a long queue of Jwalkerz and started queueing at 3pm and we were pretty far from the entrance. Floor was wet so i sat on a newspaper~ Ate some tibits and waited until 7 plus and stood up finally becox people said Jay and Aom reached. I didn't their car but indeed they arrived and were preparing backstage~
♥ Concert started pretty late at 8 something although it was set to start at 7pm. Didn't hear any fans complaining so no big deal because we still saw them! Gotten a stupid place to stand and we were always blocked but luckily we were in front of the big screen so nothing to complain again :) Dislike the standing area the most because there is a shallow pool in the middle and some ppl went down while those people who didn't kept blocking the ones behind.
♥ Everyone at the scene went crazy when dearest Jay appeared on stage and sang his first song, "Count On Me- Nothing On You"! That was my very first time seeing my precious Jay! \(^,^)/ He sang so well and i believe many people agree that his live performances are even better than the cds version~

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Hahaha my lovely Jay may not be a tall handsome man but he looks so fine in person! Very proportionate and thin man but he's super fit! He's definitely fit because we could see his wide chest and arm muscles! I think by looking at his tummy i can feel the his sexy abs! I knew many girls tweeted how they felt his wide chest and abs and everything when he hugged them at some events yesterday~ And some girls actually said he smelled nice but i'm not sure if it was perfume or the natural manly body smell~ I believe it was the nice nice manly smell~ hehehe i also wan2 smell it!! (LOL not body ordour can?) ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

(T_T) I'm super JEALOUS & ENVIOUS! Should have attended these events if i knew that would happen!* Hehehe actually i think many fans saw his somewhat obvious nipple~ LOL im not being dirtyminded thinking of his nipples but i just couldn't pretend i didn't see the 2 "raisins", even though he was wearing his plain shirt~ :D

♥ Q&A session with AOM crew and they were in simple T-shirt and jeans~ They must be feeling warm on stage because the lights were on them and Jay kept wiping sweats off his forehead~ Poor thing, i wanted to give u my tissue but i couldn't reach u~ Anyway, Jay said he was most satisfied with his long arms :) haha i would say ur hot and amazing JAYBUM BODEH~~~ 2 lucky fans were choosen to dance on stage and and in the end won autograph posters and had picture taken with Jay & AOM~ Funny Jay danced by himself when the music started playing. That's how much he loves dancing~ :)

♥ Awww adorable childhood photos were shown on big screen and fans went mad and screamed so loudly! It was sooooo cute! He had super chubby cheeks and even fairer skin tone than now! He only looked a little different now especially that he didn't have abs back then~ LOL~

♥ Sang his other songs then followed by the MV of his new but yet to be released song, "Demon"~ he's hot as always and his AOM brothers also starred in the mv cox they're his backup dancers~ :) i love AOM brotherhood~

♥ Then Jay sang "Demon" live and we loved it! Rapping and dancing real hard and i loved it! Dance moves were slick and sexy and he performed so well! overall, he's just soooo sexy! Sexiest man in the whole wide universe~ How on earth can a man be so sexy huh???? :3

♥ I don't know if i'm correct but i think the next activity was some real b-boy moves and short cheeky dance by Jay &AOM crew~ Next up was dance battle with local b-boy crew and it was sick cox everything was dope but some dance moves were quite dangerous! I went away for a drink cox i had gastric pain and couldn't stand straight. Screamed and cheered while drinking cox my attention never went out of the stage~ First time paying 100% attention to the stage becox i used to tape everything down and only looked at my cam screen. Never wanted to feel regretful so recording videos were not important at all~ Indeed i enjoyed tremendously! No regrets!!! :)

♥ Was able to view the stage even clearer when i stepped back behind cox everybody was infront~ Jay and AOM are so cute tgt! :3

♥ Last song sang was "Bestie" and i love the song the most cox it's simply amazing! Whole of AOM went on the stage singing & dancing tgt :) Concert ended after the song and Jay's handwritten msg appeared on screen~ Look at his funny yet unique handwriting and u'll know how cute he is! hahaha cute right~ :3



Yes the Jwalkerz enjoyed the concert and we love u and AOM~ hahaha~

♥ Happy times passes very fast but no regrets at all for this time :) After my toilet break i eventually happened to know my Jay baby and AOM were leaving so we ran over to their van and got really up clse with some of them! I saw them thru the windows and they were cute! I couldn't find Jay cox everything happened too fast and I didn't know where he was seated. That was a mere 2 or 3 secs which i was really close to them! Precious moments!!!!!

As always, I feel so bliss being Jay's Jwalkerz and Aom's fan because they're so different from the big stars we usually see. Fangirling or too obsessed or whatever u may say, if u're one of us, u'll know that's just so wrong~ They don't do fame for money (of cox $$ is important cox they have to live too but i mean they spend $$ well~) and they do what they are doing because of passion, which i think should be praised of! They don't need expensive suits or branded goods to go on stage and they're living just like everyone does and that always make people feel close and warm~


I'll never forget this day because i know i made the right decision to support these guys, especially when the main reason is that they have what it take to make ppl love them~ :) These guys are not some fake people and we fans are proud of it! I won't forget today definitely also because I saw them, which indeed made one of my dreams come true~ Sigh i really want a hug and an autograph from Jay~ :( but I believe i still have chances of fulfilling these 2 wishes in the future :) I heart u guys especially JAYbummie~ I worried abit when i saw him on the big screen when he just came on stage because he looked weak and tired. Funnily when it was his turn to dance and sing, he was very energetic ahahha, so nothing to worry about~ As a fan who loves him so much, i really want him to rest well and not push himself so hard. Oh not forgetting to say my Jay baby always glows on stage~ Stage is indeed where he belongs and he should be :D I wish them the best in doing everything and may they're even more successful than now~

Singing very seriously but he's cute and he sounds so good!

my chop chop hand & ticket~



not Taylor body anymore! This is JAYbum bodeh~



pouty mouth :3
love this dude to the max!

Alright enough of my fan-account and everything alse, i need to sleep now if not my bones are going to break apart~ bye bye and BUMNIGHT to everyone~ :3
PS: I think i'll go stalk Jay and AOM when i wake up later cox i think it's fun to stalk Jay and AOM and i've never stalked anyone before~ :D

祝我生日快乐 :)

First time receiving sooooo many bday wishes even though i don't really know some of them :D
Woke up and on the lappy and straight away logged in to FB (i was trying to comfort myself to feel very fortunate and be thankful if there was 10 wishes) and was really shocked to see those bday wishes! :D Thank you guys! It's so touching! Never expected that to happen in my life! Never ever received so many wishes before so i can't believe it! I feel so fortunate and bliss! Received the very first msg from a unknown person ytd night and it was early~ then followed by sis's msg cox she' in M'sia :D

ehehehehe i guess i'll be laughing in my dreams tonight!

LOL anyway, a B-I-G HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself~
Sun yat fai lohk~
お誕生日おめでとうございます~
생일축하합니다~
I'm officially 19 now, but im happy :)

More responsibilities and nearer to death (lol kidding~) more white hairs and deeper wrinkles~ 18 is just nice and 19 sounds old. Lol not forgetting to mention both of my chinese and real birth dates are on today, 21 September 2010. I guess it has only happened once when i was born so this is the 2nd time i'm having 2 birthdays on the same day :D Not thinking of celebrating but i feel like going out~ will see how later on since it's only 9 in the morning~

Last but not least, I wish myself a happy and healthy year ahead! Very simple wishes so i hope my wishes will come true~ :)
*hugs and kisses* Thanks once again and i'm thankful for everything! :3

blissfully having  my Macdonald breakfast: iced milo and Sausage mcgriddles with egg set :D

Nostalgia

Had a short library study session with Joop just now~ :) it was fun whispering and laughing with her~
I'm sure going tmr's study session because i want her to tell me the things i wan2 know badly! :D Missing the lovely and happy old times when all 3 of us taitais went to library to mug but turned out to be a chit-chatting and magazine session~ Not forgetting the times i spent with my dear tengteng and jiaojun too :D good old times always prove that we're getting old so we're reminiscing.

Sadly, my qinqin (nephew) went back to malaysia this afternoon after spending 2 weeks here. He skipped a week of school so i guess there's pile of homework waiting for him at home~ As i grow older, i always feel the increasing distance between us. When he was younger, he was with us so we were close. I don't know what to say to him or how to make him happy everytime i see him. It's like we're not close now. I make efforts to coax and play with him but i get cold shoulders at times. It is hard to make him smile. Sigh so bittersweet.

Anyway, had a lantern/ candles and sparklers session at the playground on Wed. It was joyous because i love the lantern festival atmosphere! Each year, i wish i could go back malaysia to celebrate and play around with my cousins. The candles and lanterns always melt my heart~ It's already heartwarming thinking about how we used to fool around and cycled with our lanterns hung on the bike handles. We ate and bbq-ed and chit-chitted and it was simply fun. It's one kind of true happiness i've ever had in my childhood :) And lol, my mum kept my Power Puff Girls lantern really well because it is still usable even though i got it when i was in primary school <3 <3 <3 I wonder if people still cycle with lanterns~ hahaha! Sounds abit old-fashioned though~ Some of us no longer stay together but my heart feels warm as i know we all remember we shared happiness :)

Have been writing long posts, because my fist-sized heart went through many things this week and i feel the need to pen them down before the slightest feeling disappears. It's getting late now and my eyelids are getting heavier. So signing off now~



LOL eyes closed~





always loving the candlelight and the warm and bright lantern~ :D

 Bye and kisses =3


To be short, i miss u so much. If we could ever be together, what would it be like?

What's left to say?

Today is a bad day, one hella bad day!

Had a tiff with my family and i feel so hurt after what they did and said. Put aside the things they've done, can't they just be careful with words? Is this how a family should be?? Critisizing and hurting people? We're not strangers, we're family! Money money money! The damn money that always cause so much unhappiness. If u're paid then it is a big deal, right? So if this is the case, i'll pay u $50 and i'll give u a few tight slaps, will u want it? Will u?

I always tell myself that i can give up the whole wide world, but i'll never let go of my mum! Never! And i'll always be with her no matter wad happens! The night before wasn't a peaceful night too because baby girl was having high fever and had to be rushed to the hospital. I didn't dare to sleep when u guys were not back. Why? I sacrificed my life and it's still not enough to prove how good i am? Mum didn't have any sleep because she was carrying the baby in her arms yet the parents were sleeping. Till this minute, i guess my mum has only rested around 2 hours and she's working now. Ok, let's just say u people have to work the next day but mum sacrificed her sleep, health and time for u guys. I only see unhappiness and unwillingness to look after the baby in u guys. I'm fking mad because we're not the parents yet we're doing so many things just because u said WE'RE PAID to babysit so we have to bear all the responsibilities that a parent has??? I wouldn't wan2 ur fking hundreds in the first place if i knew this would happen. So i see we're less important than ur money. If u want someone to be close with u then u should make the effort to spend time with her and try to do everything for her. It is not putting up a show in front of everybody to show how good u are.

A 19-year-old wouldn't want a life like mine. Babysitting? Stop freaking kidding! Nobody knows i feel like a loser. But i choose to live with it for the sake of u guys. It's really hurtful and disappointing... Tears are often hard to control whenever i quarrel. This is one of the few times when i cried real bad at the staircases because i don't wan2 cry in front of u lest u guys think i'm a crybaby. Yes, it is always hard on me. To u people, i am just a lazy girl who do nothing other than playing com and watching tv. Yes, thats the life i live but how are u guys better than me?

I volunteer to help with the housechores yet i don't even see u guys sweeping nor mopping unless mum ask u to. Spent an hour and the staircases and thought about lots of things. How did things turn out this way and why am i in this state? It's just heartbreaking.. I thought of leaving this home but it defnitely won't work things out. Everything changes so never to expect it to be the same forever. I used to think i have a family that loves me dearly when i was in primary school. Few years ago, i realised things were not the way i saw. I'm too stupid and naive. Greed, selfishness, life is just too pathetic for us. What to do? I guess it's a sin to live.

Definition of Us.

It's been long since my last post. This place is becoming more and more like a place for me to vent my emotions, especially anger~

Don't always feel happy at home especially when i need to face a couple of people with different tempers. I have to bear with them yet they don't know what i'm going through. Making all sorts of sacrifices are so not worthy because they don't even take a look at what i've done for them. I'm nopt asking for credit but can't u guys at least say "thank you" to me??? Seriously and honestly, studying and doing revisions for my exams ain't my priority at all for now. How can i focus when i have so many things to take care of at the same time? Bullshit~ What about my own life?

Anyway, had a Kbox session hours ago with my taitais. It was really once in a while because my last Kbox session was last year. I've been hiding at home for way too long time~ It was super pricey but definitely fun for me, as well as the taitais right? I only sang korean pop songs and a couple of english songs! Hehehe enjoyed tremendously but all 3 of us were damn freezing inside the room. I guess the freezing cold air-conditioning is included in the service charges and GST. Kbox please save electricity and spare a thought for our sick Earth~

Sadly, exams are nearing and i can't stop worrying. 30+, i mean i picked up 30+ strains of fallen hair yeaterday after washing my hair. Not a good sight and i know it's time i should take good care of my health and of cox, sleep EARLY~ I desire to have my normal life back! My life is so sick now. Oh never forgetting to mention, my mum finally said something i thought she would never say in this life. She finally wants me to take control of my eating habits now cox i'm always having supper before i sleep and so, she wants me to slim down now. LOL but she's right. I longed to slim down but i'm freaking lazy~ I always think of slimming down so that i'll attend my Jay baby's fanmeet prettily but hahaha, it's hopeless now because it's already too late~

Signing off now cox it's late~ and i need some sleep so that i can wake up later at 7~ bye muack~

the :( face i always have~